Wednesday, May 16, 2007

I just feel blah....

You know I have tried not to post this because it's so sad for me to talk about. I have been feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness. I lost a childhood friend to suicide last week. When I think of my childhood I think of him and his family. They always waved and had big 'ol grins on their faces as my family I drove by. The father of this family, Mr. Bob always helped us kids when we needed a tire pumped or our bike fixed. He was the neighbor that was always working on something in his garage. He would always let his daughter Carol and I build a fort in the back of his truck and we would sit in there for hours talking and eating our snacks and he never bothered us. Carol's little brother was always wanting to play with us and we told him he could as long as he didn't talk too much. I have great memories of this family and the thing I can't get my head around is how they have suffered so much in their lives. I remember when I was around 10 years old a neighbor came and told a group of us that Carol had been in an accident that she was missing in the ocean. Of course in my little 10 year old mind I thought she was going to be fine. See, Carol was 2 years older than me and she was a great swimmer and award winning runner in middle school. I thought she would swim back to shore or onto a rock and she would be found. She never came home. They had found her body days before my birthday. Not long after her death her father Mr. Bob was diagnosed with cancer and later passed. My childhood friend that just passed was her younger brother. I can't wrap my brain around what has happened.

My older sister married Carol and Robbie's older brother and they are in the middle of a divorce. How much more can one tolerate?? My sister and I have not been close for about 10 years but I feel badly for her because of how her husband has treated her. Well, I promise when I post next I will be more positive.

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